I married myself!

Yes, you read that right - I married myself and it was bloody lovely. 

For a long time, I've wanted to do something entirely for myself that represented all of the self love, and self acceptance work that I've put in over the last few years (and keep putting in, now). It's no secret that my brain isn't always very kind when it comes to the way I see myself, and so I needed to find something that I could do which would ensure that I am always trying my best to love and accept myself, even on the bad days. Thus - the self-marriage idea was born!

This idea has been a WIP for quite some time now - I knew that it was a niche idea, albeit very on brand for me, and so I knew I wanted it to be a really intimate experience with just a few people that I am extremely close with. Once I had decided on who I wanted to be there with me, all I had to do was plan it. 

I wanted an officiate, a bridesmaid, a best man, and a guest of honour - so I picked 4 special people, and gave them all of their tasks. I picked my own vows (which I've detailed below). I had a custom ring made. I bought a tiara because I thought, what better time than now to wear one. And finally, I set a date - 17/06/2023. 

I decided to have the ceremony in my garden, so I set a few chairs up next to the path that I was going to use as a makeshift aisle, and placed a table at the end where I would stand and receive my vows to hold the confetti that we'd made, and a phone to play music. (We used a heart shaped hole puncher on a load of leafs to keep the confetti environmentally friendly, and the music I chose to walk down to was an instrumental cover of Dolly Parton's "I will always love you"). 

I had chosen my friend Matt as my best man, and to walk me down the 'aisle' because he is without a doubt, my twin flame. He is emotionally and spiritually on the same wave as I am, and I knew that I could count on him to make the day extra special - he didn't let me down! There is nobody else that I would want to walk by my side. 

I had chosen my sister, Peyton, to be my bridesmaid because she is the most beautiful person I know, both inside and out, and there is nobody else that I would want to walk in front of me.

I had chosen my friend Conann as the guest of honour - the honour being that he had absolutely no idea what we were doing, but he joined in with the craziness of it all and having him there was the perfect addition.

The vows I decided on were:

Paige, it is your intention to make a lifetime commitment of self love and acceptance to yourself.

Do you choose happily, and freely, within the company of your support network, to make these promises to yourself.

Do you vow to choose yourself, and put your happiness at the forefront of everything you do from this day forward.

To love yourself, as best you can, and to be a comfort and safe place for your spirit to live.

To listen to yourself deeply when you are sad or angry, to learn compassion for yourself and nourish yourself with gentleness and uphold yourself with strength.

To love your mind and your body as it ages, to take care of yourself as best you can, to weigh the effects of the words you speak and the things you do, to never take yourself for granted, and to never take yourself too seriously. 

To honour the uniqueness of your spirit, and cherish your friends and family, whose love and support helped bring you here today and help shape you into the person that you are, and the person you will become.

To encourage yourself, believe in yourself, to be patient and kind, celebrate your victories and achievements, and always find the time to do the things that feed your heart and soul.

To honour your spiritual path and live in the faith your life unfolds in mysterious divine perfection.

(To everyone else:)

Now that you have heard her vows, do you, her closest friends and family, promise, from this day forward to encourage her, help her, love her, and give her guidance and support her in being steadfast in the promises that she has made to herself?

With this renewed love for yourself, go forth. May the sun shine upon you, may the moon move the tide of your emotions with every grace and magic, may heart sing, and your every day be filled with joy!

Matt gave the loveliest best man speech I could have hoped for, I won't put it here because he'll more than likely kill me, but I will say that it made me cry. It was equal parts beautiful, and funny, and I am very grateful to him for writing it - thank god for the tactical sunglasses I was wearing!

We then spent a VERY long time taken photographs as I wanted as many memories to look back on as possible - I think I might even print them out and take the time to put them all into a photo album so that I can look back at them whenever I need a reminder of what it was all for.

I can honestly say that it was, without a doubt the silliest, and loveliest thing I have ever done. I came out of it feeling incredibly loved and accepted. I am fully aware of how blessed I am to be surrounded by the kind of people that not only support my silly ideas, but they get involved and they make them perfect.

So here's to me, for making the commitment to love myself, no matter what. But more importantly, here's to them, for making my day absolutely perfect.